Wonder Woman

I came across this article over a year ago, and I still find myself thinking about it to this day. In Sunday School this past weekend, we talked about how it's okay not to do everything, not to say yes to everything, and not to be everything. We, as women, can't do it all, and that's okay. 

If you don't have time to read the article, it basically talks about society's expectation of women, and how we can't possibly live up to those expectations. It's just not reasonable. The author references the beauty standard, the marriage standard, the motherhood standard, the homemaker standard, the work standard, and the no-sweat standard. 

I feel like I've struggled with this, even though I'm still in my 20's. No, I haven't felt the full impact of the "motherhood standard," but the other ones are enough to overwhelm anyone. When we first moved to Minot, I really wanted to finally be a contributor to our family life. Our time together in Louisiana was short, sparatic, and stressful. I was working weekends, constantly traveling home for the wedding, and traveling for work, while B was traveling, working nights/overnight, and taking care of a lot of the "home stuff" for us. I always joke and say that "I never once cooked dinner in Louisiana," but really, I didn't! B was great about it- I can't remember him ever complaining. Just another reason he is my favorite person. On top of all of this stress, the day B returned to work after our honeymoon, we received our "Dream Sheet." Let the stress begin... again. And B left for training... again. 

Anyway, we landed in Minot after a very long limbo, and had this big ol' house. How wonderful and how terrifying. That is when I felt the pressure of the homemaker standard. I finally had a large kitchen with plenty of counter space and tons of unused wedding presents, so naturally it was time. It was so nice to attempt the homemaker standard, and I think it helped with the marriage standard. Our marriage has been greater than I could have ever imagined since we moved to the tundra. Crazy, right?! We've fallen more in love, gotten to know one another better, grown together, formed our routines, and created a happy home.

For me, the beauty standard and the work standard have gone directly hand in hand. Lucky me, I had a short stint in the beauty industry. Don't get me wrong, I love the job I had, the people I met, and the work that I did. If there were just a few more hours in the day, it would have been almost perfect. But it wasn't. I'm competitive by nature, and my drive to be the best of the best at work, while facing my own insecurities, can get to be challenging. After spending three Christmas Eves curled up in my husband's lap, feeling sad, homesick, and exhausted, I broke. Put a fork in me. I was done. 

It is so hard to take a step back at 24. SO hard. While my friends are climbing their corporate ladders while living in some of the biggest cities in the country, I was starting over. After many lengthy discussions with B, I started at the bottom- and I've never been happier. A few short months later, an amazing opportunity came along, and I have all of the work/life balance I could dream of. I am so happy. We are so happy. 

The no-sweat standard is ridiculous. Being a woman is a lot of blood, sweat, and tears. Literally! Will I meet all of the standards that social media, celebrities, or other people set for me? Nope, and that's okay.  I'm finally figuring out what makes me happy, and it's definitely not those standards- it's spending time doing things I love, with people I love, to make the world a better place.




"The most crucial thing for women to know today? No one does it all. We each, if we're lucky, will have our chance to leave a mark on the world, but we are trying too hard to be perfect. So don't emulate Wonder Woman; think about what's wonderful to you instead. Then boldly, audaciously, joyfully, leave the rest behind." - Debora L. Spar